A Candid, Poignant Recall of Love, Passion, and Courage, Jane Hawking Shares Her Side in “Travelling to Infinity”

Travelling to Infinity: My Life with Stephen is a touching and realistic tale of love, passion, and the will to live and keep living. Jane Hawking portrays life with her ex-husband in extreme honesty and with such recall that it leaves your body aching.

Before seeing The Theory of Everything, I knew very little of Stephen Hawking, including the fact that he had been married, twice. He married his nurse, Elaine Mason in 1995, later to divorce in 2006. But before Elaine, there was the tour de force Jane Wilde, who’s heart was captured by Stephen’s charm, wit, and brilliance in 1963.

Married for 26 years, Jane and Stephen built a life together in Cambridge, England. They have three children, Robert, Lucy, and Timothy, and as we know, Stephen is a highly acclaimed Professor of Physics at Cambridge University in England. But Traveling to Infinity brings us to a time before children, before wheelchairs, before professorship, before depression, and before marriage. She allows us to see from courtship to proposal, from marriage to family, from new homes to professorship, to heartache and separation. Jane describes in haunting detail the crushing tole that Motor Neuron Disease (more commonly known as ALS in the United States) not only took on her husband, but on their family.

Through a majority of the book I am writhing in pain. Jane works with tremendous strength and determination to keep her family from shattering into a million pieces. From having Stephen on one arm and Robert in the other, she would move with grace across campus to make sure that Stephen could fulfill his duties for his Fellowship at Gonville and Caius College. She cooked, cleaned, redecorated, shopped for and fed her loved ones. Often times penning her exhaustion and longing to complete her degree, Jane persevered against all odds. She knew Stephen had little time and she wanted to guarantee the best with what little time he had.

In many ways you could say that she sacrificed much of her life for Stephen, but as I read, I never got the slightest feeling of anger or regret. Even as Stephen had less and less mobility and used fewer and fewer words to communicate, she trudged through the disease and family life, despite often being overlooked for her enormous efforts. That was the toughest for me. Stephen and Jane had genuinely warm and caring friends, but there were also the individuals who did not feel for Jane and her difficult situation. They would remind her that some have it much worse and she should be thankful for what she has. Even Stephen came off as ungrateful at times, and that drove me mad.

But even though the book is riddled with tough moments and sometimes tragic events, Jane offers us smiles and laughter when she can. Her warmth shines through most in moments shared about her family. One moment I particularly enjoyed is when her and Stephen are traveling with newly-born Robert to Seattle. Jane quickly runs off for food, leaving Stephen holding Robert in his lap. She returns to a horrified look on Stephen’s face only to look down to see that Robert had indeed peed in his lap. Dropping the food, she quickly whisks the boy off his lap and to change him, only to worry about what to do with Stephen’s pants. Needless to say, he sat in soaked pants for the flight. This trip eventually led to a daunting fear of flying, but again offers a lighter side to her family life.

Jane’s spirit is awe-inspiring. Truly a remarkably kind and gentle woman, she uses Travelling to Infinity to share her journey. Never is there a hint of cruelty against Stephen or friends of the family, she just wants an opportunity to share her side and I am glad she did. Her passion for not only Stephen, but family, music, language, and travel never failed to shine through the prose. She was a dedicated wife, but she did all of this out of love, not obligation. Though their story is a remarkable one, with Stephen living well past his timelime, raising three children, and fighting Motor Neuron Disease with messy finesse, it is Jane’s story that will leave you breathless. The pain will wreak havoc on your body, but the love is what ultimately heals you.